Becoming a Mom for the very first time is a life changing experience of epic proportions. It’s not something you can even anticipate until it happens to you, and when it does it can go one of two ways. The first is that you will embrace your new role and grow well into it, with your child being everything you need and more. The other is that you’ll do the first, but eventually start wondering what comes next for you. Being a mother can be all-consumingBeing a mother can be all-consuming, and while a baby is a wonderful and magical addition to your life, it doesn’t mean that you won’t want more from life.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your baby if you feel that way. In fact, a lot of women find that if they admit it out loud to the older generations, that they are frowned upon for feeling as if they want something more. Motherhood can be a part of your world, but the center of your world is YOU, with everything else orbiting you. You can love your children and still want to do online aviation courses and learn to fly a plane. You can be an excellent mother and still go to work every day – it’s good for your children to see you achieve! If you want motherhood to be your identity, it can be, but if you want more from life that’s not a bad thing, either. Some mothers want to find out who they are outside of the realms of motherhood and because of the profound ways that motherhood can change them, they find that their likes and interests can change.
I’m here to tell you that you are more than a Mom, you were you first, and the new you in the “after” is going to be excellent. Here are some of the best ways that you can strengthen your identity outside of motherhood.
Don’t forget self-care. It’s so easy to slob around in shapeless clothes and unbrushed hair. The problem is that doing this can mean that you forget to care for your body and your mind. Self-care is the least selfish thing that you can do for yourself and those around you. A better you = a better mother.
Go and see people. Motherhood – amazing though it is – can be a lonely experience. Babies are not the best conversationalists, and you need adult interaction. Get out and see people!
Pursue a passion. A big thing that mothers can do to rediscover and reinvent themselves is to pursue a passion. Children seem to unlock something in our brains that enable us to go out and do more, and more than that, we want to do more!
Make a list. Life hits you in the face when you’re a parent. Make a list of things that you want to do and achieve, even if it’s simple things like trying seafood for the first time.
Keep learning. Travel, explore, read, study – you need to keep feeding your brain. Motherhood is a little mind-numbing, and you need to exercise those smarts of yours!