Let’s get right to the point.
Yelling gets you nowhere. It actually indirectly teaches the one being yelled at that it is OK to yell.
There are other ways to get your point across! Here are some useful positive parenting tips.
VALIDATE
Your little one comes home and is all out of sorts. Whether it is a classmate that stole their favorite pencil or a kid on the playground that took their swing, the most important thing you need to initially do is validate their feelings.
If my little ones come home in a tizzy, first I have them explain what happened. Sometimes hashing it out verbally helps them to relax a bit. I then always make sure to validate their feelings of hurt, anger, or sadness.
Depending on their age, determine the best way to explain why he or she may be right or wrong. As my boys have gotten older it has been easier to explain.
CLEAR EXPECTATIONS
It’s super important that the little ones have clear expectations as to what is right and wrong. Obviously, age plays a huge part in what is understood, so I took that into consideration with each of the boys.
Explain the consequences in an age-level manner that will not allow for gray areas. My boys know that if they do not do their homework, then they get time taken away from their free-time (usually time on electronics).
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
There are times I go through the house and all of the lights are left on, there’s clothing all over the floor, homework hasn’t been done, and someone didn’t flush.
It’s these scenarios when I need to choose my battle. In my book, the fact that homework is due and has not been completed comes first. Once the homework has completed, I inch down the list until it is complete.
TIMEOUTS AREN’T “IN” ANYMORE
I’ve tried time and time again with the whole “time out” option. It does not work for my kids. Well, at first it did, but then one day I sent N into time out. He went into time out, but then started singing and actually having a fun time.
DEEP BREATHING
Deep breathing could help to both the parent and the child.
Before I jump to any conclusions, I seriously take a deep breath and then assess the situation. It clears my mind and allows me to better handle whatever comes my way.
If one of my boys comes to me upset, I first ask them to take a deep breath. Aside from making them breathe when more than likely they are all up in arms, it gives them a minute to collect their thought.
I look to my fellow mamas for advice all the time when it comes to rearing my boys properly, and I hope this article helps you!
Sunshine says
Interesting
Dana says
Thanks!
Crystal Carder says
As a mom of three, I agree with all of these! I definitely find myself choosing my battles too! These are great tips and I love how all of them are so positive.
Dana says
Thank you, Crystal!! 🙂
Owen G says
Haha you are so patient I can’t imagine myself being in that scenario when the house is too messy and someone didn’t even flushed
Dana says
It’s gross and I get so frustrated LOLOLOL
Monidipa Dutta says
I am not a parent but truly these parenting tips I feel are very genuine and I hope the parents will get help from these.
Razena says
I giggled at the time out scene. My eldest nephew did exactly the same thing when his mother tried the time-out route with him as a 4-5 yr old. Needless to say that technique did not survive to the 2nd, 3rd and 4th child.
Dana says
It’s so interesting how it works for one and not another. LOLOLOL
Lydia Smith says
Nice parenting tips and I love them.. it’s really cool and I should also imbibe them with my kids.
Stefani Tolson says
Sometimes taking a time out is what they want. Instead of time out my children get things that they like taken away like their devices.
Dana says
Stefani, you are so right – you need to figure out what is most effective and go with it. Taking away their devices is another great option. They learn that if they are bad, they won’t get to play their games – something they love. Eventually, it clicks with them!
Kisha Stewart-Harris says
So, the one thing that I’m not that great at is the clear expectations thing. I can be too easy going one day and then very demanding the next, which I know can be confusing to my children. I am getting better though, it’s just staying consistent that I need to keep working on.
Dana says
Kisha, I am the same way! Consistency is key and it’s a battle!
Nina Cochingco says
I’m not a parent yet but this tips really sounds effective and great parenting tips. I would share to my relatives who have young kids.
Dana says
Thank you for sharing with your friends and relatives, Nina!
Kaycee Enerva says
First time of heard of deep breathing as a type of timeout. Might try it next time
Dana says
It works! Good luck, Kaycee!
Alexandra Cook says
love this topic! every single one of them is such an important guide. Thanks so much for sharing
Dana says
My pleasure, Alexandra!
Linda Voltaire says
Crystal clear and great tips for all parents. The time out thing is so true…. ha ha laughed when I read this! A creative kid for sure!
Dana says
Very creative, Linda! I’m wondering if I should capitalize on that 😉
Melissa says
Choose your battles is definitely a big one!! I have to remind myself constantly of the not yelling one, but am not above apologizing when I slip up!
Dana says
Melissa, we are all human – I catch myself in the beginning stages of yelling and have to step back sometimes. I’m sure you are doing fabulously!
Jeannette (Jay Joy) says
Clear expectations are really important, that way kids don’t “test the waters” of how much they can get away with .
Dana says
Agreed, Jeannette! As long as we are clear it what is expected, the ground rules are set and there are no questions!
Diana Dominguez says
Love the tip of deep breathing. Actually started teaching to my now3 year old a couple of weeks. Although, she only seems to do it when happy. Great post.
Dana says
LOL Diana! She’ll learn in time, I promise. It becomes an automatic response.
Jackline A says
These are wonderful parenting tips. Positive goes a long way than negativity and yelling
Dana says
Thank you, Jackline! Yelling has gotten us nowhere except for teaching our kids it is ok to yell!
Tushar says
Really helpful parenting tips. I definitely agree with choosing the correct battles. There’s only so much that you can do at a given time.
Dana says
Thank you! Yes, choosing your battles is super important. Sometimes you need to give a little slack in one area, to reinforce the rules in another. It all evens out in the end.
Danielle says
These tips are so wonderful. Parenting can be so hard and these tips for sure make things a little better.
Dana says
Thank you, Danielle! I am glad these tips can come in handy!
Alyssa Dawson says
Such good tips! It’s funny though, what works for one kid doesn’t work for the next. Time outs work wonders for my girl! I’m glad I have them as an option!
Dana says
Thank you, Alyssa! It is interesting how some concepts work for some kids and not for others. It’s almost like trial and error!
Madhurima Maiti says
I really liked your parenting tips. I think the best one is to clear expectations. Parenting is tough and having a guidance is always helpful. Great post.
Dana says
Thank you!
David Elliott says
It really is important to pick your battles when it comes to kids. I can see why time outs would be less effective over time whether too demeaning or just finding a spot where they wouldn’t care.