Is it Ignorance?

I don’t know what to label it, and I don’t think I am entirely alone, but I can’t watch the news anymore.  Every time I think about what happened at Sandy Hook, I tear up.  That could have been my boys’ school.  Whenever someone starts a conversation about it, I tear up.  Who could be that terrible of a person to do such a thing to innocent people, most of them children?  I received an email today, asking how I felt when I dropped the boys off at school today.  I cried.  From an email.  My husband and I are eating lunch at a local sushi restaurant and what’s on their TV facing the dining area???  I couldn’t eat.  Photos of the children, interviews with the parents and family members, photos of the psychotic f***…I can’t bear to see it anymore.

Its mind blowing all of the questions that one thinks of when something this magnitude of tragedy happens.  Besides, the obvious WHY?  What was the mother thinking having assault rifles in a home to begin with, notwithstanding the fact that her child was mentally unstable?  I don’t even want to know what was going through that psychopath’s mind…that is a question I don’t even want answered.

I am going to my son’s holiday concert tomorrow and I know I am not going to be the only one looking around the elementary school, thinking “what if?”  The once safe place I drop my kids off every morning, is now not safe to me anymore.  I can’t type anymore…I can’t see the screen through tears yet again.