Childhood Has Changed
My curfew was lightening bugs. My parents didn’t call my cell, they yelled my name. I played outside, not online. If I didn’t eat what mom cooked, I didn’t eat.
This was a perfect representation of my childhood. So different than the childhood that my boys live today, and it saddens me.
When I was little, my friends and I would play outside until the street lights came on. That was our signal it was time to go home. My parents didn’t worry about my safety because I was in the confines of my neighborhood.
I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 19 years old, and that was only because I had just moved to a new city and it was used as more of a “precautionary action” than anything else. It wasn’t used in place of my home phone, or as a means to communicate via text with my friends.
I could ride my bike to my friend’s house without worry of safety on my parents’ part. As long as I was home when the street lights came on, it was all good.
My grandparents did not quiz my parents to see if they proactively looked for child molesters in our area.
I was allowed to walk along a main street to the library, only 1 3/4 miles up the road. My best friend Stacy and I would walk to the library to pick books to read for the coming week.
My friends and I would jump on the bus to the mall, and hang out there for a few hours – without any form of communication with our parents.
So what do you make of all of this? Why the change from then to now? Fine it was 30 years ago (yes, I am dating myself), but it makes me so sad that my boys cannot live the carefree life that I did without concern.
Great post. I think since then, we’ve become hyper-aware of our environments and how potentially scary things can be. We want to protect our children so much that sometimes we end up shielding them from reality. We have to find the balance between freedom with parenting and responsibility in regards to the time we live in now.
I agree with you, Danielle, about the need to find a balance. If we shelter them “too much” we may be hurting them as well.
It feels like people are more overprotective but somehow rightly so. I don’t know why. I would never have been allowed to get on a bus to the mall without telling my parents though 😉
My parents knew about the bus to the mall BUT still, I would never let my boys do that now! Becky, I think that we are more overprotective because of what we see in the media nowadays. Everything gets sensationalized – which is good in a way.
My boyfriend and I were just talking about how our childhood is so much different than kids these days. They have technology to keep them busy. We try our hardest to have our boys do outside stuff especially things we did when we were younger.
Same here Jasmine. If it’s nice out, my boys have to be outside doing some corn of exercise/sport.
I grew up in the same era. I think after the Walsh incident in Florida and then the Atlanta killings, things began to change. It is so sad but true. I don’t let my daughter walk far at all. We always chaperon her where ever she goes. I hate it, but you can’t be careful these days.
I agree with you Mary. Between those two horrible incidents and technology these days, it has caused us to “lock our doors at night”.
This is so true! I’m even older….my daughters are in their 30’s and I have to granddaughters. The difference just between the 3 generations is unreal. There’s something to be said about the “good ‘ole days” for sure!
Gail, I miss the good old days!
I was talking to my husband about this as my little one has come home asking for a cell phone since his friends have one (they are going into the 2nd grade) & I about died. Also, kids these days are much ruder to their parents than ever before and I really think it stems from how childhoods have changed. I truly is sad how much has changed in a short 10-15 years.
Yep…my oldest asked for a cell phone and I about fell off my chair. Oh the attitudes – Jessica, I would never speak to my parents like my boys speak to me sometimes. My husband and I are not the type of parents that can be rolled over by their kids, yet these boys sometimes really can be rude. (And then get put in their place, of course.)
It truly scares me to start having a family/kids in the next few years because of how much has changed. I can’t believe that parents are being charged with neglect for letting their kids play at a playground by themselves down the street! That’s not how I grew up!
I know Chelsie, it is sad and I hope things do change. I am sure they will!
I think a lot has to do with where you live. My kids are allowed out until the streetlights come on, I happily encourage them to walk around our neighborhood. The only thing that has really changed from my childhood to my kids is I’m stricter with computers than my parents were(It’s so much faster to get where you shouldn’t be~) and cell phones are given to our kids at 13; mainly as a means to get in contact with us when they are somewhere.
Lauren, I agree that it depends on where you live. The thing is – I live in a nice e neighborhood but bad people could be your neighbors too.
I remember I could play “until dark” and one night I accidentally laid in cactus burs while playing hide and seek. I could hardly moved and started crying, but I was crying because I wasn’t going to be home by dark!
Awww, Jessica! First off, that must have hurt! I am sure your parents understood when you told them the reason why you were late, right?
I can relate to all of it! My Dad bought me a cell phone in college for safety. It was such a new thing that I didn’t understand you could call anyone. I was like, I don’t know anyone else with a cell phone so who am I supposed to call??! I wonder if every generation bemoans how childhood has changed. It does seem like things are drastically different now than they’ve ever been, though.
I agree with you that other generations say the same thing. When my parents have me my cell phone, I felt the same way because no one really had one either.
Yes! I remember staying outside until it was dark, playing games like “kick the can” and “hide ‘n seek.” I also didn’t have a cell phone until after college. I think I had a pager for a while for work. Life was definitely more carefree and so much less technology. I can’t believe how much they use it even in kindergarten. Ugh.
Wow Shann, you brought back memories when you mentioned pagers! Do you remember the different codes like “143” means “I love you”. There were so many!
How true is this! I do my best to keep my Daughters childhood as much like mine. This is the first summer I allow them to play in the yard until the street lights come on with the neighborhood friends catching lightning bugs in my canning jars. 🙂 I have a rule if they don’t eat dinner I save it for later on their plate if they get hungry, Ha ha!! I never make them finish their whole plate though. 🙂
Thanks for the fun read.
Kaitlyn, I like your idea regarding dinner time! I try to give the boys “freedom” like I had when I was little, I’ll let them play basketball out front but I’m constantly peeking out the window or going outside.
I never lived in an urban environment growing up, only in the country, so I had a pretty laid-back childhood too. I think the world has definitely gotten scarier since back then, but I think some of the changes are our own fault – not putting good enough boundaries on technology for example! I am still trying to figure that out.
I completely agree that some of the changes fall right on our shoulders. Updated technology is awesome in some respects but allows bad people to do bad things easier.
I can definitely relate. We work hard to find ways to give our kids as many of these experiences as we can, but there is just so much of it they will never be able to do.
Crysta, I agree. I guess those are the stories we can just pass along to them, right?
Yes, I’ve been thinking about this SO much lately! I want my kids to have a free and adventurous childhood like I did, and it’s becoming increasingly rare.
Brittany, I wish we could figure out what can be done. Even just a bit more freedom…